


Solving Xeno's Paradox

by astronyaut



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:47:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28927551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astronyaut/pseuds/astronyaut
Summary: Alastor is afraid but wants. Angel wants but is afraid. They learn and cope. Five times they try and one time they succeed.
Relationships: Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel)
Kudos: 44





	Solving Xeno's Paradox

**Author's Note:**

> i've been keeping this in my notes since june and finally came around to looking at it so here it is finally, in all its un-beta'd and unedited glory

I  
The first time was an accident. 

In spite of himself, Alastor seeked out Angel after their first meeting at the hotel. Angel's words had been calculated; practiced in a way by which any everyday demon would not notice the static behind his words. But, as most of Hell would know, Alastor was not the everyday demon. He knew about static, and he certainly knew how to recognize it in others. 

Which then brings him to the door to Angel's room. He knocks in a rhythmic pattern and waits until Angel emerges, one set of arms opening the door while the other held a small pig. He smirked, looking down at Alastor,  
"Changed your mind, Smiles?"  
"Ha! No. Though I do want to address..."  
The small pig in Angel's arms squirmed, reaching towards Alastor's staff.  
"Aw, he likes ya," Angel says, holding out the small pig as Alastor moved his staff back. "What? Afraid?" He joked, letting down the pig as it continued squirming. It ran in a circle around Alastor before running back into Angel's room, the glowing of it's patterns slowly being concealed by the darkness of the room. 

"Anyway," Alastor continued, "I do want to address what you said. You're quite the anomaly, you know. Most would run away the moment they saw me, though I'm sure you gathered that by now." Angel folded his arms, looking equally curious and amused. "You can't scare me anyway, Al. I know now what you're capable of, but it doesn't make you any better than anyone else. Besides, everyone has their vices. I'm sure there's something out there strong enough to break you." Angel's words were firm, but there was no malice behind them– for once someone seemed genuinely curious without the underlying fearfulness of Alastor's power. 

"Is that supposed to be a threat?"  
"Is it?" 

Suddenly, a flash of pink light illuminated through the dark doorframe and jumped up towards Alastor. "Nuggets, no!" Angel called, his four arms trying to catch the racing pig as Alastor stumbled back, using his staff as a prop to keep himself upright, but falling back just as quickly as Nuggets bumped into the staff, causing Alastor to lose his balance, and consequently Angel to fall on top of him as they fell to the ground. 

For once, Angel almost looked nervous, before quickly gaining back composure and using the moment to give and wink and a pickup line, but just as quickly being moved back with Alastor's fallen staff bumping against his chest as he attempted to get closer. "Five foot role," Alastor reminded, flustered and uncharacteristically out of breath. He slid out from under Angel before sitting upright, Angel quickly following suit while keeping his distance. 

A beat, then, "Al, I–" Angel's were were cut off abruptly by a still flustered Alastor, his words coming quickly and with more static that usual, "Actually, I just remembered I have to pick up some things! No time to delay!" He scrambled to stand, then took his staff and quickly walked off, leaving behind him a confused Angel and seemingly satisfied Nuggets. 

II  
Angel ran away the second time. 

It had been a month. After their intimate stumble, Alastor and Angel had kept their distance. They still bantered, though Angel kept his advancements at bay, with Alastor quicker to leave and unwittingly sparse in his words. Even in moments where they could have been alone, Alastor always seemed to have an excuse to leave. Angel wasn't a particularly patient person, but he knew enough to give Alastor space. Even so, he eventually became worried that their accidental moment caused an irreparable harm. 

This then brought Angel to Alastor's door. He knocked. Waited. Knocked again. As he was about to give up, the door creaked open. "Can I help you?" He asked, still keeping his signature smile with his staff in hand. "Can we talk?" Angel asked, worry evident on his face, though he tried to conceal it through curiosity instead. "I don't see why not," Alastor shrugged, before opening the door properly and keeping a hand at his hip. "What do you want to speak about?" "Can we talk more privately? I won't try anything, promise." "Oh, you don't need to worry about that. I assure you I have the means necessary to restrain if needed." Ignoring the chance for an innuendo, Angel rolled his eyes as Alastor allowed him into his room. Alastor summoned an extra chair at a central table with his staff and gestured for Angel to sit, Alastor sitting across from him. "So, what did you wish to speak to me about?" "Listen, Al, I know I'm not the smartest here but I'm not an idiot. And I guess I just... wanted to apologize? I mean, it wasn't my fault, but I know you don't like being close and I shoulda respected that, so... yeah. Sorry." Angel folded his arms. He wasn't used to apologizing, much less apologizing for intimacy. 

Surprisingly to him, Alastor let out a small laugh, "Angel, you didn't scare me away, if that is what you think." "Then what is it? Why can't we just go back to the normal bullshit and forget that even happened?" "Well," Alastor began to say, through thick static and evident discomfort, "I suppose there is just more to this situation than meets the eye." Angel waited, and Alastor continued, "Angel, we both know I have no care for sexual intimacy. That is not what bothered me. Rather... there is something else I still haven't figured out myself." "You? Questioning? And here I thought you knew yourself! Damn, and I thought you hated me now or something." "Angel, what happened to you?" "Uh, pardon?" "What happened? The first time we spoke, there was something more than mere sexuality in your voice. It was static; I would know." Silence. "Angel–" "You know you can't just go asking shit like that." Angel retorted, then mumbled, "Shit's personal." 

"Then what about a deal?" 

"Deal?" 

"A trade of sorts. Story for a story. What do you say?" 

Angels considers this. It is probably the only time he will get to knowing more about the radio demon. There is no magic to the handshake, but a knowingly binding deal made nonetheless. 

"Do you want to know how I actually died?"  
"Why are you telling me this?"  
"Because no one will believe you. A bit harsh on my part, yes, however I do think it's a story worth telling. Call it an eye for an eye, if you will." 

"Do you know about Xeno's paradox?"  
"Xeno's... what?"  
"Xeno's paradox, where two things can continue to meet halfway, but never truly touch. I had always believed in it. Rather, I was conditioned to believe in it. I believed so that things hurt less that way." 

"What does this have to do with your death?"  
"Patience, my dear. Anyway, growing up in the South was not the most luxurious of places. You have the tourist areas, sure, then of course there was the bayou. But families like mine had it rough. I grieved for my mother the most. Regardless, we did live decently– a tight-knit family despite everything. We held family most dear, but intimacy was always a struggle for me. Even a handshake felt like pins and needles. I was able to cope eventually, Xeno's paradox and all, until intimacy was reserved to those I was closest with. The worst were the police dogs, which coincidentally ended up being the cause for my death. I was caught, what with my vices being more... gory than average. It was a quick kill, but the night was never a safe time for people like me, if there even was a time of true safety. I heard the shots first, then the screams, the barks, but it's the silence after I remember most. Bleeding out, surrounded by my worst fears. Worst sensetivities. Pins and needles." 

His smile nearly faltered, blink and you would miss it, but Angel knew better. He knew the feeling. 

"But in any case! What about you? Our vices certainly differ, but no doubt we have some similarity." The constant smile on Alastor's face would have been disturbing to any other sane person, but Angel understood. The price of fear was the mask put on after. 

"You don't have to do that, you know."  
"Excuse me?"  
"The mask. That smile. It's tiring."  
"I don't think I understand."  
"Here you are, telling me all this shit about your personal life, and all you want is my story in response. All I'm saying is that it's okay to not smile for once. It's okay to mourn. I get it." 

Now Alastor's smile did falter, only for a second but enough to notice. 

"Do you know what I did when I got here?"  
"I mean, I heard the short story from Vaggie..."  
"No, not all the chaos and all. I meant the very beginning, minutes." 

Silence. 

"I made a vow. To myself and to my mother– bless her heart– that I would never let someone take away my smile. Because you can get hurt, beaten, broken, but they can't take away your smile. That's what she taught me, alongside other lessons. It was how I grew up, surrounded by her kindness until her untimely death. I thought I'd never smile again, but then... I landed myself here. I knew the weight of my actions, but I also remembered my mother's words. Hurt, beaten, and broken, I wouldn't let anyone else take away my smile, because my smile is mine and mine alone, and no one can change that." 

"Huh. Anyone ever say you got a way with words? Do Husk and Niffty even know this? I feel like I know too much now." 

"Perhaps you do. But like I said, who will believe you? Besides, you yourself are good at keeping secrets just as well. 

"Do you want to know what I see when I look at you, Angel? It's fear. You keep so much locked away, and for what? Who are you protecting? Certainly not yourself, what with how you're treated outside of this hotel." 

"That's not your concern." 

"Isn't it?" 

"No! It's fucking not, you barely know me, what do you know, anyway?" 

"Angel, I didn't mean to–" 

"Didn't mean to what, Al? Piss me off? Well great job there. Thanks for the story but it means nothing, just forget it." 

Static gradually filled the room as Angel exited. 

III  
The third time was cut short. 

A guilty conscience hardly plagued Angel, however as days went by he began to grow more aware of the seemingly endless intermittent static that filled his every step. Confrontation came first from Charlie, who mentioned to him Alastor's strange behavior– or at least stranger than usual, including Angel's own behavior. 

"You should really talk to him, Angel."  
"I have nothing to say. Nothing important."  
"I'm sorry if I find that hard to believe. It's like you're always on edge nowadays like when you first got here, it's not like you now."  
"And what would you know? Maybe I relapsed and just didn't say shit because I don't want to be chastized for every fucking thing I do." 

"Angel..."  
"Listen, Princess, I..." he sighs, "Sorry." 

The second confrontation came from Cherri, on a night where she snuck into the hotel in an attempt to cheer up Angel. 

"What's been so bad recently, anyway? That dickhead of a boss fucking with you again?"  
"For once I wish it was, that would be easier."  
"Then who is it?"  
"I think I fucked up."  
"Angie, I won't force you but you know you can talk to me." 

"It's about Alastor. I made a deal with him? I think? But, like, it wasn't even that big a deal, it was a story for a story. I just... ran away before saying mine."  
"You made a deal with the Radio Demon? Seriously?"  
"It wasn't even that big a deal! How the fuck was I to know it would bite me in the ass like this?" 

"I mean, a story's worth a lot, especially about us before all this. I know you know that."  
"Ugh... what do I do?"  
"Talk to him, I guess. You had the balls to make a deal with him, so what's another conversation gonna do?"  
"Yeah, I guess. But that can wait until tomorrow..." 

Angel reached towards the basket Cherri had brought, complete with alcohol and cheap chocolates. 

"Fuck yeah, you know you're my favorite guy to get fucked up with." 

That night they drank, laughed, cried, and enjoyed the company as two best friends at the edge of the world. For the first time in a week, Angel was able to ignore the static and slept soundly, knowing his closest friend would always be beside him until the end of whatever comes after the afterlife. 

The next day Angel woke up surprisingly without a hangover. Granted, it was not much alcohol, however it was more than he had in a long time since being at the hotel. Beside him on his bed laid a note, signed in cursive with a doodle of him and Cherri in front of an explosion: 

'Go talk your heart out and get his ass!! You got this bb!! B) ♡♡  
-Cherri' 

Angel smiled at the note and put it in his nightstand drawer, piled on top of other notes from previous occassions. As much as he dreaded the thought of the conversation to come, he knew it was necessary to get the damn static out of his head. And maybe also to make ammends and be able to talk with Alastor again. Maybe. 

Later that day, Angel found Alastor sitting across from Husk at the bar. 

"Hey Al, can we talk?"  
"I do believe we have some unfinished business" 

Alastor gives a parting wave and head pat to Husk– much to his annoyance– and stands up to lead Angel to an empty alcove. 

"So, I believe you owe me a story?"  
"Yeah, yeah, I'll tell you so you can stop with all that static shit." 

Almost immediately, the static drops from around him, the only static then coming from Alastor's staff. 

"Fine, what was it again? How I died?"  
"Oh, no, now that just wouldn't be fair. What I want to know is who you're protecting; who hurt you, Angel?"  
"That's... a longer answer than how I died. Hell, it's a long answer period. Where do you want me to start?"  
"It's not like I told you my life story, I just need a short one in return. Eye for an eye."  
"Yeah, well, I got eight of them, so it's not like the exchange is gonna be equal, just so you know." 

"You know what I meant, Angel."  
"Ok, fine, geez. How much do you know about me, exactly?"  
"I know the basics. I know of your work, and I know you work for Valentino. How is that, by the way?"  
"Uh, yeah, about that... it's fine. Work is fine. I enjoy it." 

"Work is not your employer."  
"Val is– he's– I think– why do you want to know so badly? You interested in the business?"  
"No, not exactly. New territory, perhaps, but it is not a goal of mine. Besides, this isn't about me. How does he treat you? What about your coworkers?"  
"Coworkers are fine. They can be nice. I dunno, there's not much to say. It's work and I enjoy it. That's all." 

"And yet you continue to avoid my real question. Tell me directly Angel: does he hurt you?"  
Static fills the alcove again, but this time it's not the casual static of a missing station, but rather the type of static to put your hair on end and that's just too high of a frequency to be normal. 

"He's– he's fine."  
"Angel."  
"I came to the hotel for a reason, Alastor. I wasn't lying when I said I liked my job but I wouldn't be lying if I said I never wanted to go into that studio again. There, is that what you wanted to hear?" 

The static only goes away slightly, as if being suppressed. 

Just as Alastor goes to respond, the front door bursts open, and in come Charlie, Vaggie, and Niffty. Vaggie pays them no mind, while Charlie gives a wave and Niffty hops over to show Alastor her new duster. The static resumes from Alastor's staff, though the alcove finally drops the frequency back to the normal chipper of the hotel. 

And with that, Angel and Alastor resume their day, though Angel makes sure to text Cherri an update on the situation. 

IV  
Alastor backed out the third time. 

About a week later, Angel hears from whispers on the street that an overlord had gained new territory during his walk back from a store. Whatever, he thinks, either Val got new land or Pentious is on the rise again. Either way, new land for Val means new opportunity for Angel, and Pentious can easily be dealt with by Cherri or Alastor. Speaking of... why were some people whispering about the Radio Demon? Why can't they just use his name? Superstitious weirdos... 

Upon arriving back to the hotel, Alastor is nowhere in sight, but Husk looks worn down. Angel considers messing with him for a while before getting closer and seeing the paperwork piled beside him. 

"Uh, you getting a new job there, Husk? That's a lotta paperwork, especially for you."  
"Didn't you hear? My boss took down your boss Valentino. It's for new contracts Alastor wants for the hotel." 

He mumbles expletives under his breath as he signs, but he doesn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. Leaving him to his work, a now surprised Angel goes to seek out Alastor, and more importantly what remains of his workplace. He checks his phone and for the first time is able to check the news: 

'666 News  
[BREAKING] New territory in Pentagram City After Radio Demon's Defeat of Overlord Valentino! 

Vox News  
Valentino Suffers a Loss 

Demon News Network  
Radio Demon Gains Power 

Pentagram Times  
OPINION: Why Overlords Are Bad' 

He skims and browses through various news sources, fully intending on using this new granted access, while also never before fully grasping how vast the politics of Hell were. He assumes that something must have gone horribly wrong for Valentino for his phone to have more capabilities than he did previous, though not that he cares much. He more so cares about what exactly happened to cause that, and furthermore ensure the safety of the few coworkers he cares about. 

Soon after, he recieves a text from Cherri: 

'ANGIE HAVE U SEEN THE NEWS!!!!  
COME HELP ME THIS SHIT ROCKS 🍒💥💋' 

Angel considers his options briefly, one being keeping credibility, and two being keeping his place at the hotel. Well, he already survived one brawl, what's one more (again)? 

Angel exits the hotel again and heads in the opposite direction of previous, now in the direction of his presumed-former workplace. He heard the bombs before seeing them, but surprisingly few screams of pain. Spotting Cherri amidst the wreckage, he struts his way over. 

"Angie, you made it! Check it out, I get to blow stuff up AND get paid for it!"  
"You're getting paid for this? Who's paying you?"  
"That Radio Demon guy. Alastor? Not bad, really, just gave me the money and told me to level the place so obviously I was, like, fuck yeah, money AND bombs? Pretty sweet as, right? Kinda miss the screams of terror, but, eh, beggars and choosers or whatnot. Anyway, where you been? How've you been?" 

"You know what, today's been pretty good, actually." Angel smiles as Cherri hands him a bomb for himself, and he more than eagarly throws it at what was formerly Valentino's office. At least, he thinks. Cherri has been doing a good job of leveling, it's mostly wreckage now anyway, but it's always a fun time to be with Cherri, and it's equally fun hearing her accent slip out when she's over-excited. 

They keep at it until the smoke settles and the sun begins to set, and it finally ends with a hug between the two and a platonic kiss on the head. 

"You know, I think things are gonna be looking up from here."  
Cherri gives him a playful slap on the ass, then, "Now go get your man, ya goof! You think he did this for nothing? Partying with you is always a blast, now go reap the spoils!" 

They part ways, and Angel is sure the fuzzy feeling he feels isn't (entirely) static this time. 

Getting back to the hotel, Husk seems to have made a game of the paperwork, taking a shot then signing a page, then continuing that pattern. Niffty seems to be cleaning new rooms for patrons, opening doors Angel had never seen open before. 

Then there's Alastor in the middle of it all, overlooking their work while talking to an ecstatic looking Charlie. She catches a glimpse of Angel and waves, then almost skips as she goes to help Vaggie with the newly arrived patrons. 

"Al, why'd you do all that?" 

Alastor looks up, and Angel checks himself for static again, though this time it seems to just be him. 

"Care to wager a guess? Angel, I think we should talk."  
"What? Gonna offer me a new job?"  
"Oh, I think I can do better than that." 

Angel gestures for Alastor to follow him and leads him to Angel's room. 

Once the door closes, Angel allows himself to ask, "How? I mean, I knew you were powerful but that was some next level shit." 

"The hardest part was thinking of the plan, less the execution, my dearest."  
"You got a thing for kinky spiders?"  
"Perhaps a thing for one kinky spider. Besides, it was the least I could do. Think of it as an apology of sorts, as well as lasting entertainment for me. Though, rest assured, you are much more to me than entertainment." 

"Then what am I to you?"  
"I think you can at least guess that, sha." 

Alastor looks down but makes no momements, like a deer in headlights, paralyzed with something akin to fear. 

Angel attempts to break the gap, to put a hand on his shoulder, only to get lightly smacked away by a now blushing and flustered Alastor. His eyes are radio dials for a split second, as fear and static permeates the room and Alastor looks up at Angel. 

"I– Angel I didn't mean to– Ahem. My... my apologies." 

He rushes out of the room, leaving a hurt and conflicted Angel behind. 

V  
The fifth time was intentional. 

Angel had kept his diatance after that, respecting the five-foot rule and other semantics. The distance between them was static. Radio silence. It pained both of them, though neither would admit to it. 

Surprisingly, resolve came in the form of Angel talking to Husk. Husk offhandedly mentioned his polyglot status, and after a quick vocabularly lesson resulted in Angel making conversation in Italian. It began as simple small talk, but easily took a turn as Angel grew increasingly frustrated at Husk's mentions of Alastor. 

"What's he been so touchy about anyway? You do something?"  
"I didn't do shit, that's the problem!"  
"Well I'll be damned."  
"What? What I say?"  
"I mean, it seems you actually found a way to scare the bastard, at least by the sounds of it."  
"Me? Scare him? I scared him?"  
"Yep. Deer in headlights. So go talk to him, what more damage can you do?"  
"That's not very reassuring, you know."  
"And he's not a very reassuring guy. What else you want me to say? Everything's gonna be rainbows and whatnot? That'll be the fucking day." 

"Yeah yeah fine, I'll go talk to him. Again. I guess. Why's this relationship shit gotta be so damn difficult?"  
"You're gonna be walking a thin line if you keep up that line of questioning to me. Whatever fucked up shit you two do is your business, and the best you can do for me is keeping me the fuck out of it."  
"Yeah ok, point taken. Thanks Kitty~"  
Husk mumbles his signature English expletives under his breath and goes back to making drinks. 

It's an all-too-familiar scene. Angel finds Alastor around the hotel and approaches. He asks to talk. Easily enough, Alastor agrees. Ok, step one down, however many more to go. 

They end up in a different alcove away from wandering ears and potential people entering. Alastor begins the conversation, 

"I owe you an apology. So, I'm sorry. I'm not very good at intimacy, though you more than gathered that already. I just... don't feel this way often, is all."  
"It's new for both of us, Al."  
Alastor looks surprised at that.  
"What? Just because I'm well versed in sex doesn't mean I know how healthy relationships work, much less one like this. 

"You do things to me, Al, and I don't just mean it sexually. It's like your stupid radio static fills my insides and gets me feeling like an inexperienced teenager all over again. I like you. It's undeniable at this point. It's just... do you? Genuinely?" 

"Maybe so." 

Angel takes a step forward just as Alastor takes a step back. 

"Stay."  
"What?"  
"Stay here, with me. Not too close but not too far. 

"I'm the Radio Demon, you didn't expect me to play fair, did you?"  
"You can drop that act, Alastor. Just tell me how you feel." 

A pause, then, "Scared. This is still new to me. But I like this. Closeness in distance." 

"Then stay with me here until you're ready."  
"Truly?"  
"I mean it, Al. You don't need to rush, I'll wait for you." 

Alastor took an experimental step forward, then another, and another. Angel stood still, waiting. 

They end up close enough that Alastor has to look up, then says: 

"Would it be a stretch if I asked you to kiss me?"  
"No. But I won't."  
"No?"  
"If you're sure about yourself then prove it; you kiss me. Break the paradox or whatever." 

Alastor brought a slow moving hand up to cup Angel's face. 

"So much for the five foot rule now" Angel teases.  
"Dearest, I think by now you've went and solved Xeno's paradox at this point" Alastor responds. 

"So?" 

Angel leans down slightly but makes no other movements, so Alastor takes initiative. With a shaking hand and fluttering heart, he closes the distance. 

The kiss is a mix of static and strawberry. 

\+ I  
This time, they both stay. 

Angel breaks the silence, "Where do we go from here? You know, all my experience but I've never been in a stable relationship before." 

"Is that what you want?"  
A beat. "Yes." 

"Angel, I haven't felt this way since during my life but I can promise you that I will keep you safe and happy."  
"Aw, Al, you mean that?"  
"I do. Genuinely. No deals required." 

"How do you say hold me?"  
"What?"  
"In French, how do you say hold me?"  
"Serre moi."  
"Serre moi, Alastor. I won't ask forever, but just for now."  
"Forever... Pour toujours. Per sempre."  
"Italian? How'd you know that?"  
"I may have asked Husk a few things." 

"What else do you know?"  
"Baciami. Il mio più caro... Ti amo."  
"Ti amo..."  
"Je t'aime. Ti amo. Perhaps... I do." 

They kiss like it's the first time. It's far from perfect, far from pristine, but it is genuine and it is theirs and it is true. 

Forever is a long time. 

But for now will do.

**Author's Note:**

> if you can figure out all the references i packed into this emotional mess i'll give you a cookie.


End file.
